My friend is going through a divorce. During our 45 minute conversation, she replayed all of the evil things said and done to her by her ex-husband and his then mistress. As a generally happy person, I got tired of listening to the negativity. But I held tight. After all, she is a friend in distress. Right?
After about 40 minutes, I couldn’t take it any longer. I suggested that she write down all of her memories – good and bad. This would not only help to take things off her mind, but it would also help her to begin to heal. Following are five ways writing would help with her healing process.
1.Focus on the positive and negative instead of just the negative
I know she’s very emotional right now; I get that. But the negativity is not going to help at all on any level. Writing down the good and bad would enable her to remember some of the happy moments as she goes through this trying time. Besides, festering over the bad stuff really isn’t healthy.
2. Another outlet for self expression
Life and death is in the power of the tongue. As long as she continues to re-live the divorce through conversation, it will be harder to let go because it’s in the Universe. However, she can have an honest and open conversation in writing all by herself. She can say things she wanted to (or still do want to) say to the other parties involved, using the tone she feels as well as the words of her choice.
3. Contemplate on lessons learned
Through each experience in life, there is a lesson and a blessing if your mind and heart are open. My friend can write down the situations and her reactions to things that happened. She can also reflect on what she has learned and how she has grown spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
4. Write a chapter in her life
This divorce is but one small part of her great big life. If she documents everything that is happening, including all the pain, anger, betrayal and other emotions she’s experiencing, she will have a full view of the situation. Writing the details of this ending could very well be the beginning of something great – with healing being the first goal.
5. Opportunity to share with others
Her writing could be the beginning of a book, speaking career or some other venture to help other divorced women though their trials and challenges. Thus, she would be healing herself while feeding the emotional health and spirits of others.
Although I am writing this story with my friend in mind, the above five ways to heal apply to everyone who is in need of healing. Writing always makes me feel better. So, today, I encourage you to take your emotions off yourself, put them on paper, and allow yourself to heal. The process will begin when you decide to let go. And writing is the perfect release.